第四百九十八章全权特使(6/7)

纵容犯罪吗？
                                                                                                                                                                李顺今晚自己要去送死，我为什么要阻拦他？他作恶多端，真的死了，秋桐岂不是就解脱了？岂不是就可以去追求自己想要的爱情和幸福了吗？
                                                                                                                                                                我不是一直希望秋桐能摆脱那残忍地报恩吗？不是一直希望秋桐能有阵阵的开心和快乐吗？现在不正是极好的机会，我为什么却又强行阻拦了李顺，而且自己还要去为李顺卖命呢？
                                                                                                                                                                想着秋桐，我觉得自己内心充满了矛盾，阵阵罪恶感在心里涌起，阵阵难言的纠结在心里泛滥……
                                                                                                                                                                我不由又想起了天真无邪的小雪，想起了头发斑白的老李……
                                                                                                                                                                一个是李顺的女儿，一个是李顺的父亲，对于李顺，小雪可以说是他生命的全部，而对于老李，作为一个父亲，李顺是他唯一的儿子，难道不也是他生命中的重要一个组成部分吗？
                                                                                                                                                                此刻，我不知道自己到底是在纵容黑恶势力还是在成人之美。
                                                                                                                                                                只是，我心里明白，我逐渐成了李顺的帮凶，我的罪责是无法洗清的了。
                                                                                                                                                                想起千里之外的老父老母，想起爸爸对我的殷切叮咛，想起妈妈对我的关切疼爱，我的心里涌起巨大的负疚感……
                                                                                                                                                                此去宁州，我不打算回家去看父母，我觉得自己没脸见二老，一想到明晚就要到达家乡，无地自容之感在心头汹涌。
                                                     

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