第五章我的一夜情(1/4)

我给这五大金刚分别赠以代号：华西猴、华北虎、华中流氓、华南和尚、华东叫驴。平时指导工作，我都习惯于用代号。"华中流氓：本月回款还不够总部吃一次大餐，小心你的乌纱帽!""华北虎：如果前台怀孕，你的季度奖金将是零。""华西猴：有四川分公司女员工投诉你手脚不干净，拜托别弄出一个全国首列性搔扰案哟。"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                而他们则一律叫我"老大。"一到周末，我的手机上尽是短信："老大，重庆美女、火锅和华西猴恭候你的到来。""老大，周末去不去东莞吃荔枝？""老大，要不要尝尝武汉"土鸡"？飞过来吧!"其实，我知道这帮孙子背地里还叫我"萨达姆"、"草上飞"、"梅超风"等等。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                有一次在长江上开大区会议，他们做工作报告："尊敬的老大，我们紧紧团结在您周围，永远跟您走，不说您的坏话，不留您的把柄，永远忠于您的领导……"听得我云里雾里，不知道是真是假，信还是不信。会后的酒席上，这帮孙子又起哄给我敬酒，满桌胡言乱语，老大，我们要把美酒敬给您喝，肉留给您先吃，女人留给您先睡。马屁拍得我哼哼哈哈。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                不过，我实行的是铁腕管理、**管理，他们对我还是敬畏三分，虽然私下里玩些手脚，把假帐做得滴水不漏，让总部财务总监戴玉玲小姐敢怒不敢言，只得暗暗与我较劲。华中流氓有一次弄了好几千块钱来报销，被我一眼识破，你这假洋鬼子，搞假的都不会，让"黛玉大嫂"发现了我也要挨老板的骂，"哈佛MBA是怎么念的？"刘双忙还想分辩，我用九阴白骨爪卡住他的细脖子，在他耳边恶恶狠狠地说："你*让老大丢脸！"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                去年八月在九寨沟开营销会议，为争市场经费，华北虎和华东叫驴破口对骂，华东叫驴当场指出华北虎让前台小姐堕胎，气得华北虎无地自容，泪水在眼眶里打转，我实在看不下去，给他们每人一记铁沙掌，打得他们谁也不敢吱

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