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我是个睡觉很会作梦的人,但那时哭累睡着的我却没有做梦。我想,是因为自己内心深处知道,自己将要永远失去心爱的女人,所有未来的梦想也就跟着破灭……                                                                                                                                                                有人说过∶“人因梦想而伟大。”但我却看不见任何耀眼光芒在我眼前,只有无尽寂寞与痛苦而已。                                                                                                                                                                “他玛说∶我哥哥,不要玷辱我。以色列人中不当这样行,你不要作这丑事;你玷辱我,我何以掩盖我的羞耻?你在以色列中也成愚妄人……”但暗嫩不肯听她的话,因比她力大,就玷辱她,与她同寝……                                                                                                                                                                “你的姐妹,不论是异母同父,是异父同母,无论生在家生在外,都不可玷污她们。在这一切的事上,你们都不可玷污自己;因为我在你们面前所逐出的列邦,在这一切的事上玷污自己,所以我追讨那地的罪孽,那地也吐出他的居民。无论甚么人,行其中可憎的一件事,必从民中剪除。所以,你们要守我所吩咐的,免得你们随从那些可憎的恶俗,就是在你们以先的人所常行的,以致玷污自己。”                                                                                                                                                                每当读到圣经这许多段落,我总感到一阵心悸。这不就是当时的我?充满罪孽的我?                                                                                                                                                                但结合我们身心的十数分钟,我没有如此多的罪恶感触,所有的,满是心内欲望无尽需求。                                                                                                                                                                这一切,为何就是不能如同埃及神话∶“你的妹妹爱瑟丝来了。你欢喜,你爱。你将她放在你的上面,进入了她。爱瑟丝因有孩子而变大……”                                                                                                                                                                或许,这对我来说,才是永远不醒的梦……                                                                                                                                                                朦胧中,并不是大声音打搅,也没有任何动作,只是彷佛心电感应,我就那样悠悠苏醒。                                                                                                                                              

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