第三十九章(3/4)

了，看不上我了。
                                                                                                                                                                不，不，而是我配不上她了。她在向上走，我在向下滑。
                                                                                                                                                                本来，多年的夫妻，维系起来与其说是靠爱情，倒不如说是靠亲情，靠习惯。可现在，洪歌已经不习惯我了。
                                                                                                                                                                在认为和洪歌的夫妻关系根本没有问题的时候，我总梦想，要是外头再有一块缤纷的彩旗飘着才叫过瘾。那时候天总是很蓝，日子总过得太慢，整日里我守着洪歌，暗地里却意淫着别的美女。
                                                                                                                                                                那些美女有广告上放的，电影上看的，街上遇到的，网上搜到的……甚至和洪歌做爱的时候偶尔也会幻想着是和另一个人做。可一旦真的被洪歌抛弃了，我却感到了一种彻骨的孤单。
                                                                                                                                                                就像木偶匹诺曹，天天上学烦的要死，于是离家出走跟别人跑到一个净是玩具的地方很爽了一通。可被变成驴子之后，却格外思念自己的父亲。
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           匹诺曹虽然历尽艰险，但还有机会遇见自己的父亲，因为那是童话。洪歌也要彻底离我而去，而我却根本没有办法，这是现实！这实际上是我早就已经知道的现实。
                                                                                                                                                                从她拒绝和我做爱起，她的态度就已经很明确了。她也许只是在等我主动提出来而已。
                                                                                                                                                                然而，我却自己不敢面对这个现实。是我在自欺欺人。
                                                                              

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