第三十章(7/7)

                                                                                                                                  我先走到后面阳台清理墙壁上的精液，就回到自己房间并将门关上。                                                                                                                                                                那一晚，那一刻的告白之后，我的心异常平静。                                                                                                                                                                那时我没有去注意客厅雯雯的声音，只是感到几年来自己一直纷乱不安的心终于得以平静下来。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           我躺在自己床上，真的在想着今后或许我会感到寂寞与痛苦，但只要雯雯她能走向自己该走的正常人生路上，不论什么样的痛苦与寂寞我都愿意自己一个人承担下来。                                                                                                                                                                雯雯毕竟也还只是国中三年级的小女孩，说大不大，说小不小，终究也算是个小大人。我不能就这样摧毁她的一生，她还有自己的人生，会有爱她的男人，会有自己的小孩，会有自己的幸福家庭……而这样的人生，才属于她……                                                                                                                                                                想到这里，我就忍不住流下眼泪。或许内心终于得以平静，但我却感觉很强烈的不公感与失落。为什么我会爱上自己的妹妹？为什么兄妹就是不能在一起？                                                                                                                                                                那一晚，我用棉被蒙着脸痛哭，再不曾如此痛苦与失落，希望能为自己的痛苦寻求一个出路。但我也知道自己永远找不到，更知道这是我永远也改变不了事实……